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Depending on how long you have been reading the blog, you may have read about how I felt I lost myself once my son was born. How his sleeping habits kinda forced my husband and I into this bubble that consisted of only home and work pretty much.
With every invite that we got, we would normally say “No!” and have a justification for why before someone could even get the invite out good.
It actually got to the point that the only invitations that I would get was the invite to watch the people I loved live out their lives on social media.
Shonda said it best:
Losing yourself happens one No at a time
The Year of Yes has me so inspired!
Kenya says YES!
When I read that line quoted up there, it described my life to a T.
I have “No’d” my way into a place I don’t like…
I’d already been in a state of trying to change that, but reading this… it made me evaluate and come to some conclusions for myself for this upcoming year.
I’ve even drew up a list of things that I am saying yes to in this year that I want to share with you. I don’t know that it’s so much of a “year of yes” though, more like I feel empowered to tell myself YES going forward, and this book will serve as a reminder of that.
Here are the things that I need to say yes to a little more:
I am saying yes to forgiving others, and myself. Doing the work to get up and over it, and to grow through those things that I am holding on to and I feel are holding me back. My unforgiveness comes out in the most random times and ways, and when it does, it is NOT NICE!
I find myself beating myself up for things that are simple pieces of being human. I in turn, am really hard on those I love as well.
I am saying yes to actively forgiving.
There are so many things that I want to do, and generally, I am not a scary person. I am not a person who thinks I can’t do things or who won’t try new things. But in many cases, my biggest fear, the fear of Failure…dun dun dun duuuuuuuun, is holding me back.
I mean who doesn’t, hasn’t, won’t fail??? If you never try, you never even give your self the option of success, for fear that you may fail. How silly is that? That’s me talking to myself as I type this (and you if you need to hear it).
I am saying goodbye and yes to Fear.
Yes in the sense that I am looking them dead in the face and saying, “watch me!”
This may seem like it is the same as the last, but it’s not.
Motherhood is hard for me. My responses to my children are not always, or even close most times, to what I would like them to be. I find that I often times respond so quickly and emotionally driven to my children that I put my foot, ankle and part of my leg in my mouth.
Then the cycle begins because I tell myself how much I suck as a mom, and then guess what happens?
I keep sucking at being a mom and begin to believe that all I will ever do is suck at a “moming”.
But guess what, I don’t suck at being a mom, and again I am beating myself up, yet again, for being human.
I am ready to reassure myself of who I am and WHOSE I am, and move on, even when I feel I have failed.
Righting my wrongs, weather that means apologizing (swallowing pride) or even explaining myself (which I am not a fan of doing) and then asking for forgiveness and marching forward.
Yes, to getting over failure!
Like Shonda, as I sit here and type this, I am FAT. Maybe not fat to you, but I am fat to me.
My resting weight right now is right there in line with where it was after I had my last kid. I got it off and then I stuffed it all back down my mouth bingeing on sweets a.k.a the devil.
I have a newfound motivation in that my hubby has finally took the plunge into fulfilling one of his desires of becoming a personal trainer.
He is right now at this moment, working on his certification to help other people (women and men alike) get and be fit. I be darn if I be the chubby wife at home while he is helping others look and feel their best.
I am his walking billboard, and honestly I don’t really need (although I prefer) him to work out with me, cause I know what to do. I just don’t like to do it.
So yes to the treadmill, the weight room and the body I want and No to those cookies and cakes that keep calling my name!
This one! Yes yes and YESSSSSSSSS!
Yes to having a tribe of positivity around me. People who speak and live life around me. No to people who drain me, take me out my hookup, lack a positive spirit and energy.
I am saying yes to having a crew that encourages, empowers, inspires, and loves. That simple and not necessarily in the order.
Bye Felicia (or Stacey, if you have kept up with that in social media lately, smh)
So that right there is beginning of a list, that I am more than sure will grow, in a nutshell! I am saying yes; a resounding, loud, powerful YES to being the best me!