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At the beginning of the year, I declared order. One might even say that I demanded it.
A few years back I came to realize that you really have to be intentional with putting things out in the universe in order to see them manifest and come to life. So I didn’t just throw that word out there. Instead, I have used it as a guiding force for getting my butt (and my life) in gear.
For this reason, I have made the commitment, that going forward, I will spend some time in reflection as the year/season comes to a close and also prepare and plan for the one that I am walking into. And at the end of this post, I will give you something to help you do the same!
If you know me in real life or have followed along here at all, you know, I have been out of sorts since the birth of my youngest child, which I talked about here. Always feeling all over the place, and often times yearning for the girl that I use to be to come back. So much happened and changed around the time that he was born and it seemed like it never settled.
We moved into a new home when I was 8.5 months pregnant and I just never got my feet flat and was never really able to set the tone and order in the home, probably because he has never really and still doesn’t sleep through the night (three years later) and momma is ti-yad.
But regardless of my lack of sleep and craziness associated with it, I decided that enough was enough and that I wanted, better yet craved, or even more, NEEDED some sort of ORDER in this life that I am living.
So I made it my word for 2015!
This is the word I kept stored in my heart and the back of my mind as I have been navigating my way through this year; the word I would echo when I felt dead smack in the middle of crazy; the word that I used to create accountability for myself, by sharing it with all of you at the top of the year.Reflections over Resolutions! Click To Tweet
I felt that embodying ORDER as my word would provide more structure, direction, patience and even calm in my universe, and I have to admit that I do have some of those things. But on my list of things that I stated would have manifested or that I would have created as a result that I fell short on were these:
A more peaceful home with greater order
For the sake of being fair, I will say that with two young and very active boys, I don’t now that this is even an attainable goal. Because I am not talking about the “peace that surpasses all understanding” kind of peace, but rather the quiet kind of peace; the momma can hear her thoughts kind of peace; the feet kicked up on the couch, this is the life kind of peace – at least every now and again, and I know, I know, I may have went just a tad too far with that one.
A greater connection between me and the hubs
For this one, when I wrote it, I wasn’t really sure what this meant or even looked like. I constantly desire to have greater intimacy and growth within my marriage. And I think it is something we both are always working toward in some capacity. But with all the transition that this last year has brought, we have both had a greater focus on the kids. And while we may not have technically grown “closer”, gazed into each others eyes(mostly because they are usually crossed, red and blinking slowly), we are not in a bad space. It is just that we have had to focus on some more pressing priorities that needed to be tended to in this last year.
But moving on to my inner Rockstar stuff, here is what I actually DID make progress on or accomplish:
Developing a closer relationship with my daughter
I have told you guys it has not been an easy walk for me. But this year we have made GREAT strides in our relationship, and I have to admit that it feels really good! The kiddo big and I are closer than we have been in a very long time. Still work to do, but nonetheless progress…
Structure for the nephewson
I haven’t openly written too much about my nephewson coming to live with us, although I did share a bit here. But over the last year we have had the responsibility of helping him find his place in our home and our family, also dealing with whatever issues he may have as a result of losing his mother and having his complete state of normal shaken up. But I am happy to report that my kiddo middle is doing an AMAZING! He is making great progress over the months in school, at home and just overall in his emotional and social development. We still have work to do, but what I prayed for is progress and God has been more than faithful!
Patience with my little firecracker
My youngest, the kiddo little, is a special somebody. And true, we all are, but this little dude is beyond that! He is truly me and the hubs greatest challenge and he has most certainly kept us on our toes. In dealing with him, his sleeplessness, his fussiness, and his brattiness I would be ready to hit the road and never come back! I can’t tell you how many times I just wanted to say “I can’t” and play a disappearing act. But what I have sought after is having patience with him, dealing with him better and learning how to parent him (because the rulebook I use for the other two does not apply to this one). And I am happy to report that I have increased in patience with him, and I have also seen an improvement in his overall demeanor, which I don’t know if it was influenced by my patience or that it allowed for my patience but either way I will take it!
What better way to relax than on a beach? There really is none right? And that is just what I did this year. I took my first girls trip, leaving my family behind and beach bummed for a whole SIX DAYS! by far one of my greatest accomplishments this year.
Better equipping myself to start accomplishing my goals
Just doing this exercise is a reflection of that. I truly set out this year to not state why I couldn’t do something, but to really find every way that I could. And from doing that, I was able to publish my first book, redesign my site, open my t-shirt & accessory shop, and start to work on some other projects that I had been putting off.
A closer relationship with the Lord
I am truly glad that this is on the accomplishment side of the list. For so long I desired to get in regular prayer time, read the bible more, and just develop my own personal relationship with my creator. I always asked “how?” when I never had time to even take a breath it seemed. But I found with this, like everything else, intentionality is what gets you there. Taking the time to be intentional about talking to, reading about the lord and fellowshipping with other christians has been such a blessing this last year. And on a side note, the book Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan to Serious, Specific and Strategic Prayer has been one of the best books I have read this year and I HIGHLY recommend it for any woman seeking to increase in prayer.
There were even some things that weren’t on my list that got accomplished too! Mainly house stuff, but never the less they added to the “order” in my universe, so they get honorable mention.
When we moved here we knew there were things that we wanted to do and even a few that we needed to do, but we thought that we would just do them and they would be done like we did when we moved into our first home. Well let me tell you three years later there are still things that just have not gotten done yet. But by and large, the things that were making me go crazy and feel completely unorganized and out of sorts have been completed. The basement has been finished, creating office space for me and the old man, and a play area for the kids; The storage room has been sorted and cleaned, which means I can now find my christmas decorations and even the kids school supply box when they run out of something; and I reorganized my closet creating a more useful space for me to keep my clothes in, sans the walk in closet we use to have! I’d say all of those are WINS!
I did not make my word visible, as I said I would but I certainly kept it in for the forefront of my thoughts. I said it to myself and even out loud often.
With that being said, soon, I will be letting you guys in on my new word. The word that will guide me in my 2016. I am still narrowing it down, but I have started actively thinking about and reflecting on it and should come to a conclusion soon.
Who knew there was so much in one word??