Looking back at 21 I didn’t realize just how young, naive and inexperienced I really was. The world was still painted with the colors of the rainbow and the skies were always blue.
What I thought was hard times and unhappiness, now that I have lived a little more, I realize was merely being a spoiled brat and somewhat lost and misguided young girl.
I got pregnant at 21, which happened in what felt like the hardest time of my life. I was sitting out of college for a semester trying to figure out how I was going to continue to fund my education, I had just got a job making almost half of what I had made at my previous job that I got let go from, I was living in a situation I didn’t want to be in after the eviction that followed being let go from said job, and I was considering working in an environment on the side to supplement that lost income that I was used to having, that probably would have ate me alive.
Then I found out I was pregnant – by him….
While I knew I was having a baby by someone I had no business being involved with, deep inside I knew she was given to me for a reason greater than my current situation.
My daughter got me back on track and essentially saved my future and possibly my life.
In all my struggles of parenting her, and there are plenty of them, I look at her sometimes and I remember how I felt when I saw her sweet little baby face and how I knew, even then, why she came into my life when she did.
She gave me strength and courage to be better, to do better, and to seek out better for us. Even when I wasn’t motivated enough to do right for me, I HAD to do right for and by her.
I am thankful for her, and for God giving me her.
She truly is a lifesaver…..
In my daughter’s eyes,
I am a hero.
I am strong and wise.
I know no fear.
The truth is plain to see.
She was sent to rescue me.
I see who I want to be.
In my daughter’s eyes.
If you are finding struggles in parenting, especially as a single parent, think about the reason you were blessed with the child or children that you have….
they are a real blessing.
Now that does not diminish those struggles I mentioned. Lord knows I STILL HAVE THEM! As she enters being a tween and these pre-teen years, trying to coparent with someone who doesn’t understand the concept, and working through my own parent issues – the ones I knew I had and some I didn’t, I am all but losing my mind. But I have to remind myself of why God saw fit for me to raise her and why she was sent to me, when she was sent to me, even if I don’t understand why he used the vehicle that he used to get her here.
These are just words of encouragement. Words that I wish someone would have said to me. I am coming to realize them for myself:
Stay encouraged, you are not alone in your struggles. If you need help, look for it, go after it, and don’t stop until you find just what you need. Everyone has their own struggles with parenting, regardless of what their Facebook, Instagram and twitter timelines would lead you to believe. Parenting is HARD and God saw fit for you to do it which means you are capable. Just fight your way through it.