This is a guest post from Samantha from SamanthaSali.com. You can read more about her below.
Have you ever been given parenting advice and felt like “thanks, you really shouldn’t have”?
This past October, I welcomed my first child into the world – a sweet little boy, who has my whole heart.
While there were many helpful suggestions given to me postpartum, most of the advice given was not helpful in any way. Some of the conversations were downright rude, like commenting on my postpartum body or telling me when I should conceive the next one.
Overwhelmed by the constant conflicting information & hurtful words, I turned to a breastfeeding group for support. I learned that most new mothers often get a lot of unsolicited advice and impolite comments.
Today I’d like to share some examples of things you just should not say.
15 Things To Not Say to a New Mom
1. “When are you going to have another?” -Amber Z.
2. “You better wake that baby up! She has her days and nights mixed up.” -Danita M.
3. “Oh don’t worry, you’ll get your body back in no time.” -Heather G.
4. “Put cereal in the bottle, he’ll sleep longer.” -Laura G.
5. “Just let her cry.” -Jacquelyn P.
6. “You only have girls? Now you have to try for a boy.” -Heather
7. “Is he/she a good baby?” -Jean F.
8. “You look tired. Is your newborn baby not sleeping?” -Jenny H.
9. “Don’t be one of those moms who…(breastfeeds a toddler, lets herself go, etc.)” -Tina B.
10. “You know how babies are made, right?” -Megan V.
11. “You’ll never get your body back. You’ll have gross saggy boobs and a kangaroo pouch”
12. “Don’t pick up your baby or you’ll spoil her.” -Brianna T.
13. “Cover up” – Morgan K.
14. “Why didn’t you try breastfeeding? It’s so much better than formula.” -Alex G.
15. “Are you sure she’s getting enough breastmilk? You should try a bottle.” -Leah A.
If you’re looking for good advice to share with a new mom, the best advice I received was “do what works for you & what works for your baby”.Do what works for you & your baby #motherhood w/@samantha_sali Click To Tweet
I really don’t know what I would have done without the encouragement from my breastfeeding group.
They reminded me to take parenting advice with a grain of salt and to just smile & nod at the comments you’re not sure how to respond to.
And because of them, I got a really good head start on my next writing venture – The Postpartum Project, an authentic collection of stories from real moms about their personal struggles during the first year. With the help of moms & readers like you, it should be published in early 2018.
So trust us, it is best to give advice when asked. Just enjoy that newborn baby smell & take in the snuggles.