Ever been so overwhelmed that it felt paralyzing?
As I reflect over this morning. The time wasted. I just sat there. Paralyzed from doing anything cause there is just so much to do.
Being overwhelmed is not foreign to me. And it seems that precisely around this time of year for some reason it overcomes me. Consumes me. Leaves me feeling like I just can’t. Wallowing, better yet drowning, in a pond filled with feelings of inadequacy.
When I’m faced with mounds of responsibility I find myself feeling like I just can’t do any of the things.
A life of overwhelm is no way to live.
There is never a dull moment here at Kenya’s castle. At the time of writing this here is a portion of my list:
- My oldest who also doubles as my virtual assistant and dishwasher is back home (500 miles away)
- My youngest two are home with me daily because school is tracked out (year round school)
- Currently getting started on 2 client projects
- Still producing new, fresh content for Kenya Rae for the next month
- Packing and purging (which includes coordinating the sell of stuff we don’t want anymore)
- We are working out details of a move in less than thirty days
- I workout 5 days a week
- I cook 6/7 days a week
- Wife duties
- Motherhood duties
- Testing for head start
- Dental appointments for the youngest who’s been having tooth pain and needs dental work
- The dog needs grooming and shot updates
I know I am forgetting some things, and this is just my stuff. Here’s what hubby has:
- Works 40 hours a week
- Has baseball for the middle child 2-3 days a week
- Coordinating components of the move
- Working to get personal training business off the ground
- Taking contract video projects as they come
- Traveling for work in 4 days for 3 days (which means I will be alone with the tribe for three days)
- Does weekly laundry
- Takes both our cars and keeps gas in them weekly
Let me note that while his list appears shorter, his hand is in many of the things on my list. I truly don’t know what I would do without him, cause he truly tries to mitigate my melting.
Can you see how overwhelm exists?
Overwhelm, I am convinced, is a trick straight from the pit of hell. It always happens right as things are going good but my continued work and effort are required.
It sets in and I find myself on the verge of tears, not able to get up and do like I normally will and can, and even despising my blessings in the form of responsibility.
Recognizing this has me thinking I need to work on a plan of action for these overwhelmed times.
When things are running smoothly by-and-large I do well. But when things start hiccuping which is often what happens, I start melting like a three wick candle.
I am blessed. I will not allow the work necessary to stop me from the blessings that are coming and already have my name on them.
Nope not today Satan!
With that said, I am evaluating and rearranging things to keep me functioning at an optimal level. I will now be posting twice a week instead of the regularly scheduled 3 times a week. Instead of Monday, Wednesday and Friday, you can now find fresh new content on Kenya Rae on Monday’s and Thursday’s.
I don’t know if this is a permanent change just yet. But what I do know is it is a necessary change for right now in my battle of being overwhelmed.