Do you ever feel like you are just completely messing up coparenting?
Maybe you don’t and you feel you are doing it all right.
Either way, I let’s talk about it.
I know the title sounds like a doomsday post, but I’m not here to use scare tactics on you. I want to have an open and honest conversation. So in the effort of full disclosure, I will say, these are 5 mistakes I have personally made in coparenting.
It’s my mission to help you along this journey because I know it isn’t a cakewalk.
It can be very tempting to get on the phone and tell your family or friends all about what’s going on in your life when things get frustrating.
When your ex is tap dancing on the last nerve you have, you need to vent. You feel the intense need to spill your guts to the first person who will listen.
It’s important for us as believers to watch our mouths even when it’s uncomfortable. Nothing good can come from tearing down the person you share a child with.
The saying goes, “If you don’t have anything good to say, then say nothing at all.”
This can work wonders in volatile situations, but it can also be used as a weapon. If you’re using your silence as a means to control your ex then it’s wrong my friend.
You have to keep the lines of communication open and completely shutting down for an extended period time isn’t good for anyone. It can make things extremely uncomfortable for your child and create more problems than it will ever solve.
Never Change Perspective
You know what’s best for your son or daughter and the other parent is clueless.
We are hardly always right and it’s tempting to want to make decisions on your own without your ex’s consent. You two may not always agree on things and a sure way to throw things out of whack is to never see things from a different side.
When conflict arises, we typically have 1 of 3 responses. Fight, Flight, or Freeze.
Fight or flight we’re pretty familiar with but I’ve been guilty of freezing.
When there are major decisions to be made in regards to your child and his or her well being it’s okay to take some time to think about it. Coparenting gets difficult when it’s time to make decisions and when money is involved.
Don’t abandon your ex by freezing.
Are you currently struggling with building an effective co-parenting relationship? My workbook Effective Coparenting will give you the tools you need to remove the venom from your relationship with your ex so that you two can raise an emotionally healthy child together. It all starts with you.