This last year of marriage has been an interesting one to say the least. While on today we celebrate 4 years since our wedding it feels like we have been married a lifetime; and maybe that is a result of being in each other’s lives for so long.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said they couldn’t do it, in relation to my situation, we would be on a nice beach vacay and collecting interest on what was left after that was paid for.
Instead, we are still back here in “the land” (Cleveland), thugging it out. Ok maybe not thugging, more like tugging along, or pushing, yea we are pushing…LOL.
At any rate, whatever you want to call it, we are continually trying to honor God with our marriage, continue to support love and encourage each other, and to be great parents and role models to our children.
And let me tell you, NO PARTS of that is easy – NOT NONE!My marriage ain't easy, but it IS WORTH IT! Click To Tweet
Over the course of the last year, there have been some things that could have led others to call it quits. But I am thankful to God that we are continually choosing to let it grow us and draw us closer and be more in tune to one another.
Notice I say choose, but I’ll come back to that.
Many of the things that I have written over the course of this last year have been influenced by what the last year has been for us.
Marriage really should not be entered into without a strong consideration for what it means, prayers for what it will be, and openness to what the future brings your way.
As we enter into this next year of marriage, I have been reflecting on the last year and praying for the next year, which if you dont do this as your anniversary approaches every year I strongly suggest that you do.
I want to share with you a few things that this last year, which in my opinion has been our hardest year, has taught me (us).
These are the top 3 things I have learned about myself in this last year of marriage:
I am not as strong as I once thought I was.
I still have a lot of work to do on myself as far as my attitude, perspective and responses to things.
I need to reevaluate my circle.
The number one thing I learned about my husband over the last year:
He has a true heart for his family and that he realizes that he can’t do everything alone. He needs and is searching for a greater relationship with the lord and is truly trying his best with and for his family.
These are my top three pieces of advice:
Establish prayer as a normal part of your life and relationship as something you do together early on. Not just when things are bad, but when things are good as well.
Have people/couples around you that also have a heart for marriage and making their marriage work. This helps when marriage gets hard and you may need advice or support, you wont hear words of the discouragement or disdain for marriage.
Read and truly try to embody the relationship that is spoken about in Ephesians 5. Not focusing on the part it says about your spouse, but ont he part part it says about you regardless if your spouse is “living up” to their part, in your eyes, or not.
These are the top three things I pray for over the next year:
To support my husband the way he needs, and not the way I THINK he needs.
Maximizing and embracing time to really enjoy each other like when did in our younger years
To find our new normal comfortable spot
I decided for this post, and since I got a lot of response from readers about my husband’s last appearance on the blog, I decided to share with you his responses to these same questions.
Top 3 things I have learned about myself in this last year of marriage:
I still have a lot of growth to endure.
In the past, I have used the term compromise too lightly.
Although I am a Libra, I cannot “balance” things alone. Eventually I will be capsized.
The number one thing I learned about my wife in the last year:
That she will ride until the wheels fall off.
These are my top three pieces of advice to other married couples based on the last year:
Pray for each other. Sometimes your spouse may not know what to ask for, for themselves.
Act. Prayer without works is dead. Therefore when you pray for your spouse that doesn’t mean it wont require your action. You have to find constructive ways help them sometimes. Get them in the right direction.
Do not believe that marriage is give and take or 50/50 all the time. That should be the goal but it wont be that all the time so you have to learn to love and communicate thru the phases when its not.
These are the top three things I pray for over the NEXT year:
Peace of mind/clarity
To get that ol’ thing back!
That I continue to be strengthened in my knowledge of Christ so that i can love my wife better.
Every day, we are waking up and choosing each other and choosing our marriage.
By choose, I mean that we are committed to putting in the work required to make this thing work, we are helping, loving, supporting, forgiving, talking to (rather than at) each other. We are pushing each other to grow, pulling each other out of the ditches we create in our lives, and holding each other up in high esteem at all times.
We are not perfect (or even trying to be), we are not taking the good days for granted, and we are not believing that we are doing any of this through our own strength and abilities.
The day that I walked down the aisle and met my hubby at the other end, I THOUGHT I loved him on that day, but today I love him more than I could have envisioned or imagined when I said I do. I love who he is becoming, I love all that he is, and on today he is an even better verse, over a tight beat.
So to my hubby, lover friend; my baby’s fava; My MCM, ABC and 123 – I love you RDH in this lifetime and the next!