I mentioned here that I had recently joined a life group, which are also synonymous with topic focused bible studies. This one is titled and themed “For Mother’s Only”.
Can I tell you, this is actually just what I need in this season of my life and to say that I am beyond excited about it doesn’t give what I feel any justice.
As a group, we are currently reading the book, What Kids Wish Parents Knew about Parenting by Joe White. This book is a really easy read and it really gets your gears going.
In our most recent meeting we were addressing the issues of the availability of emotions to our children and also unleashing the champion in our children.
While the first one is definitely a topic that got my wheels turning and reflecting on my parenting, I really wanted to dive into the latter.
So really, what does it mean to “unleash” the champion (potential)?
Typically unleashing something means to let it go, but for all intents and purposes of this discussion think of unleashing as letting something GROW…
The book gave the following as the definition of a champion:
Are you surprised by that at all?
Well let me tell you that I was.
…..Especially number two.
The book further goes on to say that “All successful homes have this in common: the discovery of champions.“
In all of my struggles in parenting, I never would have thought that THIS was part of my problem. But guess what?
If I focused more on growing the potential of my child(ren) rather than making sure I feed them, cloth them, try to spend time with them, along with having them understand the importance of good grades, responsibility, respect, love and so on and so on, then all of those things would probably fall into place.
I mean don’t get me wrong, that feeding and clothing thing is essential and you could go to the BIG HOUSE if you neglect that part of your responsibility, so don’t go quoting me saying that they were not important, it wont help your case.
But what I AM saying is, it should not be your primary focus if you aspire to be a great parent and grow your children into the people God intended them to be (and not what you want them to be; another topic for another day).
So what this made me think for my own situation, in particular with my daughter(she is the oldest child and close to teen time, so time is of the essence) is that I need to really take the time to tap into the gift(s) that God has placed in my child.
And then I need to take the time to learn how to feed THOSE gifts and not all the other stuff that causes me to be high strung ALL.THE.TIME.
This ties into that whole emotion piece as well, because as I feed her potential then I imagine that ties us together more emotionally. But that is just my guess.
With parenting, just the thought of it, I often times get overwhelmed and want to crawl into my shell. I constantly find myself comparing myself to other moms and the awesome relationships that they appear to have with their children as they are schmoozing all over each other.
I’m not that mom.
I did however, think that I was a champion in that I put the needs of my children before my own.
But if I am honest with myself, that may not all the way be true either. There are times when I need quiet time and they may need me, but I feel like I don’t have anything to give.
There are times that I am scrolling through my phone when I am being talked to, there are even times that I schedule things for myself because after giving my job 40 hours and my household the majority of the remaining time taking care of the logistics of it all, I pull the “I deserve it” card.
So I may in fact have room to grow in that regard too.
Now don’t get me wrong I am not actively self bashing in this, I am just thinking of how God may be calling me to grow in being a mom.
Furthermore, I am reminding myself that God does not put more on you than you can handle. Recalling the scripture of Psalm 127:3 that states Children are a gift from the LORD. In my reflection of that, I am reminded that God trusted me with these children. He saw me more than capable of raising them. Furthermore, he is TRYING to equip me for parenting them.
My reality is that I am not bearing the fruit I desire in my parenting. This is because my branch is not completely joined to the source. I have let the busyness and “hurry up and go” of life partially detach me from the source. Because of this my parenting is suffering.
So here is a digest of my reflection in all of this for myself.
3 Ways I can Grow in My Parenting
I need to actively work at reconnecting myself to my source especially where my parenting is concerned.
The plan is to start with daily affirmations to myself about my parenting.
I need to actively work at determining the gift(s) within my child(ren).
The plan is to do this by finding at least one way to affirm my daughter daily.
Once they are discovered I need to feed and nourish those gifts. Then let my child(ren) become the people that God intended them to be.
I plan to do this by relaxing my expectations. I will try to stop putting my children in a box, and tuning more into who they are becoming.
So am I willing to unleash the potential in my child?
Yes. The answer is a resounding yes.
Not only am I willing but I am ready!
This post was inspired by:
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