It can be difficult to see the positive side of coparenting especially in the beginning. Sometimes you find yourself wondering what you got yourself into and praying for relief. Coparenting is easy in theory and challenging in practice. When two people who love the same child clash, things can get ugly quick.
As much as we try to shield our child from the ugliness of it all, they feel it. You and your ex can turn things around and your child can experience the benefits that come along with being split between two homes.
Children feel safe
When you and your ex are working together for your child’s well being he or she will notice and adapt better to the living arrangements. Reduce the tension between you and your ex and your child will feel less tension as well. Their social life, education, and homelife will be a lot better for it.
Children like consistency
They don’t know it but they thrive in environments where expectations are the same. When parents work together they communicate and set clear rules for the between between each home.
Take the time to talk with your ex about rules and expectations. Always keep in mind that you’re doing this for your child and that will help you get beyond any personal differences you may have.
Children learn how to compromise
This is a necessary life skill that’s hard to explain to a child. If you practice compromise in their presence then they will pick up on your cues. Children will see how it’s good to work out a problem and come to peaceful resolutions instead of holding grudges.
Our children are always watching. It’s imperative we set positive examples.
Children are given a positive example
Our children are like our mirrors. When there is undesirable behavior in our child like an excessive attitude or harsh language it is usually a reflection of us. We often want to tell children “do as I say and not as I do”, but that’s not realistic.
They model our behaviors because it’s the way they learn how to interact with other people and their environment. So if you and your ex are always at one another’s throat and undermining each other, that is the kind of behavior your child will display.
When you and your ex work together in harmony, your child will know how to work harmoniously. This is much more ideal than living in the same house with parents arguing all the time.
One MAJOR benefit is for you. You get to have some time to yourself while being an active parent. Life as a single parent is different than life as a married or cohabiting parent. You will need time to meet new people, run errands, vacation, and etc. Your life will be easier when you and your ex can co-parent efficiently.
Is coparenting giving you the blues? Do you need some help in this area so that you can raise an emotionally healthy child? My workbook Effective Coparenting will help you transform your life and become a content coparent. Get your copy here!
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