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As part of the #GrowBetterChallenge, I recently finished up The Boy in the Black Suit, a novel by Jason Reynolds. A pretty good read, although not my favorite, but it lead me into a good moment of reflection. I’d love to chat with you about it, so let me ask you a question…
Have you ever had something happen in your life that changed you? It may have changed the way you look, the way you act, or even the way you thought?
I am gonna go out on a limb and say that whether big or small, there is inevitably something that has happened to you that has redirected you, your path, or your overall way.
In The Boy in the Black Suit, Matt, a 17 year old boy who recently lost his mother, is left trying to figure out what he feels, who he is, and really where he fits.
His mothers passing changed all three of those things.
He found that people got awkward around him after his mothers passing and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.
Have you ever had some thing happen in your life that left you feeling unrelatable? Left you feeling like people just don’t understand?
Since she was gone, he felt the responsibility to help his father maintain their household. So he set out to find an after school job.
This was different from what most kids his age were doing.
The job he landed was a bit of a surprise to those around him, they wondered why he would have started working at a funeral home, especially seeing how he was still, himself, in a place of grief.
As odd as it sounded to everyone else, after reflecting on it, I got it.
There were other twists and turns along the way and even a bit of a surprise ending. But you’d have to read it to get all that.
Although it may not have been death that changed us (me and you), we have have undoubtedly began to look different, act different and think different to those people who are regularly around us at some point. Those changes probably caused us to do some things that made people scratch their heads with curiosity.
Here is what I gathered as the reasons that Matt changed how he dressed, what he did, and his thoughts. You may find a bit of yourself in these spaces.
Getting Through the Struggle
Sometimes when things happen in our life that cause a shift, we feel that no one can understand or relate.
Seeing others go through something similar can sometimes help us to deal with our own issue or struggles. While I don’t believe Matt wanted to see others suffering, it did help him to get through.
Just Trying to Survive
In times of struggle, some times all you can do is just “make it”.
Matt was forced into a whole new normal and he was trying to adjust into a space that he could find comfort in.
Life’s happenings has a way of doing that to us all at one time or another…
Needed to Fit
When you are backed in a space where it’s unfamiliar to you and not likely to be understood by your peers, it can leave you in a very lonely space.
But Matt, surrounded himself around people who got him, who could relate to his pain and offer him comfort whether directly or indirectly.
We all need to find that space. We need people who will encourage and support us in those hard times.
Had Normal Desires
Even though he was suffering, he found that he was attracted to a young lady whose path he’d crossed. In finding something new to focus on it gave him comfort and a place to feel like he belonged.
At the end of the day, we really all just want to feel like we fit somewhere.
While I don’t know what your thing is, I hope that you know you are not alone. There are people who will love you right where you are and help you get back to a healthy place when life turns you into the boy in the black suit….
This post was inspired by:
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